NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE




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NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby asiankiddo88 » Fri May 19, 2017 12:11 pm

    

Hello everyone. Im sorry for posting this here. This may sound very shallow but it has affected me so much. Presently I have a BF who is ten years younger than me (Im 32, he's 22). We have known each other by name/face since we are both working in the same company. Few chats on messenger later, we became official. We vowed to be very careful since we were working on the same field. On our first day as couples, I told him more about myself. That he is my second BF ( and might be my first sexual experience with a guy since my Ex was born again christian). He told me that I am his second BF as well, but he already had sexual experience with his ex. AT first it was hard for me to comprehend the thought that my new partner is no longer "new to the business" but since I love him so much, i promised him that I will try not to think about his past. I also told him that I have trust issues on our very first day as couples. I wanted him to be honest and transparent. I vowed not to check his fone or social media accounts unless he will give me a reason to do so. He made a promise to cherish our relationship and to be honest at all times. Few days have past, I gave in. I gave myself to him..It was the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved. Our relationship grew stronger. We were both happy. Until one time, I became very curious on how he seems to be very "sanay" when it comes to love making. He would ask me to do things that I only see in porn movies. I became suspicious. He would at times noticed me having blank stares everytime my suspicion kicks in. I asked him again if he is being honest and faithful and he said yes. Until one day, i can no longer keep my anxiety. I asked the name of his ex and without hesitation, he gave it. I contacted him using fake account to fish for details about my partner now. The Ex told me that things did not turn out nicely between them. Until finally, i introduced myself to him, that I am his Ex's new BF. Without any bitterness or ill feeling, he told me more about the person we both loved. I was shocked...... The person I thought to be naive, soft spoken and discreet turned out to be a sex addict. He cheated thats why they broke up. I cried for 2 days. I fear for our relationship. Then I had the courage to confront him about his past. He said he had 4 other sexual experiences. I cried even more. I had second thoughts of continuing our relationship. He broke his promise and he lost my trust. But I love him so much that I was able to forgive and forget. Having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past, things became hard for me. Thoughts keep coming. Then one day, for the very last time, while kneeling, I asked him if he is being 100% honest. We were both crying. He asked me to be strong. Then he finally told the the truth. My BF had 32 other sexual experiences after his last relationship. From the people he met on Grinder app, to the group chats, to the sex meet ups, to the group sex he had. I was devastated. i can only say why????? bakit????? i was floored..=( Emotions started to set in.. Anger, disgust, pity, fear of getting a disease. I was not able to contain myself. I slapped him and ran away. Pain became anger. I threatened to ruined his reputation to his family. I said horrible things over the phone. He begged, and begged for mercy..I broke up with him and told him to prepare for the worst. That I will make his life a living hell. I asked for the passwords of all of his social media account. I confronted him over the phone with every person i saw on his accounts. The numbers grew that i lost count. Good thing i left his house before i saw those accounts or else i could have done something i would regret for the rest of my life. He was very scared of me. Our night ended up with me cursing him and saying the nastiest things one can imagine. The next day, I asked him to go to my house to see what he did to me. I planned of physically hurting him more. I asked him to return everything i gave him (shoes, clothes etc). He showed up to the house. When i saw him, he looked emotionally drained. Naawa ako sa bata.. instead of slapping him, i gave him the tightest hug. we both cried. I realized that I was not part of his past. That he never cheated on me during our relationship. He was not only honest in the beginning. Anger turned into pity. I can see his sincerity on his eyes. Awang awa talaga ako. I asked him why he did that. He said he was afraid of losing me if i learn about his past. I promised to pull him out from his addiction, to take good care of him until he settles for good. I wanted to continue our relationship but i cant stop myself from thinking about his dark past. The conversations, the pictures..and its preventing me from loving him completely. I really dont know what, how and where to start...Hinang hina na kami pareho kakaiyak. Need your honest advice....


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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby Miss Bicolandia » Fri May 19, 2017 1:15 pm

I never really reply to posts like this for the lack of experience in relationships, but I am all for the glory of love. The last part of the post when you became pitiful instead of being angry towards him just answers your qualms about what both of you have. You are not of his past, but if his past worries you, there's no point of keeping him and what you have with him. It's time to let go. Cliche as this may sound, but if you really love him and are willing to forget what you now know about, then stay.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby Ea'rend¿l » Fri May 19, 2017 1:19 pm

I got into same situation before but unlike yours, my partner had 50+ sexual relationship before and while we are in a relationship. The perv even has a list of the names of the guys whom he have sex/hooked up with. I accidentally saw the list when I was using his laptop ...I was #42. Just like you i was devastated but it never crossed my mind to hurt him back physically and emotionally. I just accepted the pain, broke up with him it and never talked to him ever since. That was 5 years ago.

Then we started having communication again around 2014. We talked about the past, settled the issues, and we became very good friends until now.

My point now is, its not worth it to stay in that kind of relationship because it's toxic and full of worries. Imagine your everyday and night thinking about his whereabouts everytime he is not with you. Plus your worries about diseases that you might get thru him. Free yourself from all these worries. Just let go. You can do it. I know you can do it because i've been there before. It's hard at first of course but trust me, you will be thankful that you've let go.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby koji » Fri May 19, 2017 2:10 pm

Miss Bicolandia wrote:I never really reply to posts like this for the lack of experience in relationships, but I am all for the glory of love. The last part of the post when you became pitiful instead of being angry towards him just answers your qualms about what both of you have. You are not of his past, but if his past worries you, there's no point of keeping him and what you have with him. It's time to let go. Cliche as this may sound, but if you really love him and are willing to forget what you now know about, then stay.


:=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p :=p

To the TS: What you did to him was wrong. You are educated and professional. You should have taken the high road.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby JorgeInternational » Fri May 19, 2017 2:20 pm

Well, would be to get yourselves discharged as quickly as possible.
My advice is to follow your heart...


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Last edited by JorgeInternational on Fri May 19, 2017 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby puke.mo.vaho » Fri May 19, 2017 2:24 pm

asiankiddo88 wrote:Hello everyone. Im sorry for posting this here. This may sound very shallow but it has affected me so much. Presently I have a BF who is ten years younger than me (Im 32, he's 22). We have known each other by name/face since we are both working in the same company. Few chats on messenger later, we became official. We vowed to be very careful since we were working on the same field. On our first day as couples, I told him more about myself. That he is my second BF ( and might be my first sexual experience with a guy since my Ex was born again christian). He told me that I am his second BF as well, but he already had sexual experience with his ex. AT first it was hard for me to comprehend the thought that my new partner is no longer "new to the business" but since I love him so much, i promised him that I will try not to think about his past. I also told him that I have trust issues on our very first day as couples. I wanted him to be honest and transparent. I vowed not to check his fone or social media accounts unless he will give me a reason to do so. He made a promise to cherish our relationship and to be honest at all times. Few days have past, I gave in. I gave myself to him..It was the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved. Our relationship grew stronger. We were both happy. Until one time, I became very curious on how he seems to be very "sanay" when it comes to love making. He would ask me to do things that I only see in porn movies. I became suspicious. He would at times noticed me having blank stares everytime my suspicion kicks in. I asked him again if he is being honest and faithful and he said yes. Until one day, i can no longer keep my anxiety. I asked the name of his ex and without hesitation, he gave it. I contacted him using fake account to fish for details about my partner now. The Ex told me that things did not turn out nicely between them. Until finally, i introduced myself to him, that I am his Ex's new BF. Without any bitterness or ill feeling, he told me more about the person we both loved. I was shocked...... The person I thought to be naive, soft spoken and discreet turned out to be a sex addict. He cheated thats why they broke up. I cried for 2 days. I fear for our relationship. Then I had the courage to confront him about his past. He said he had 4 other sexual experiences. I cried even more. I had second thoughts of continuing our relationship. He broke his promise and he lost my trust. But I love him so much that I was able to forgive and forget. Having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past, things became hard for me. Thoughts keep coming. Then one day, for the very last time, while kneeling, I asked him if he is being 100% honest. We were both crying. He asked me to be strong. Then he finally told the the truth. My BF had 32 other sexual experiences after his last relationship. From the people he met on Grinder app, to the group chats, to the sex meet ups, to the group sex he had. I was devastated. i can only say why????? bakit????? i was floored..=( Emotions started to set in.. Anger, disgust, pity, fear of getting a disease. I was not able to contain myself. I slapped him and ran away. Pain became anger. I threatened to ruined his reputation to his family. I said horrible things over the phone. He begged, and begged for mercy..I broke up with him and told him to prepare for the worst. That I will make his life a living hell. I asked for the passwords of all of his social media account. I confronted him over the phone with every person i saw on his accounts. The numbers grew that i lost count. Good thing i left his house before i saw those accounts or else i could have done something i would regret for the rest of my life. He was very scared of me. Our night ended up with me cursing him and saying the nastiest things one can imagine. The next day, I asked him to go to my house to see what he did to me. I planned of physically hurting him more. I asked him to return everything i gave him (shoes, clothes etc). He showed up to the house. When i saw him, he looked emotionally drained. Naawa ako sa bata.. instead of slapping him, i gave him the tightest hug. we both cried. I realized that I was not part of his past. That he never cheated on me during our relationship. He was not only honest in the beginning. Anger turned into pity. I can see his sincerity on his eyes. Awang awa talaga ako. I asked him why he did that. He said he was afraid of losing me if i learn about his past. I promised to pull him out from his addiction, to take good care of him until he settles for good. I wanted to continue our relationship but i cant stop myself from thinking about his dark past. The conversations, the pictures..and its preventing me from loving him completely. I really dont know what, how and where to start...Hinang hina na kami pareho kakaiyak. Need your honest advice....



Mag propose ka na gurl ng Kasal :=p :=p :=p :=p with pre-nuptial agreement. =0 =0 =0 =0
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby volcomtits » Fri May 19, 2017 2:39 pm

shallow indeed wooooot :=p
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby micoexpress5 » Fri May 19, 2017 2:55 pm

32 encounters >>>> that's really nothing 8-}
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby eintein » Fri May 19, 2017 2:59 pm

Move on. Find new life with others. He will do it again sd again. Take an HIV test.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby Preciosa Mapagbigay » Fri May 19, 2017 3:37 pm

anoh na namang kadramahan toh vakz,,, kalye serye na naman bah :%(( :%(( :%((
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby puke.mo.vaho » Fri May 19, 2017 3:41 pm

Preciosa Mapagbigay wrote:anoh na namang kadramahan toh vakz,,, kalye serye na naman bah :%(( :%(( :%((


Puro ka kasi kalandian swweeettt. =;)) =;)) =;)) =;)) =;)) =;))
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby lunica » Fri May 19, 2017 4:00 pm

You clearly have a problem. Why dwell on the guy's past. Focus on what you have at the present and look forward into the future.
Who again is 32? i thought it was you, but you seem to be very idealistic and immature,... and to the point of ruining his life?
The guy doesnt deserve you. Set him free.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby EatmyShorts » Fri May 19, 2017 4:50 pm

Its really hard to accept someone's past even though you are not even part of it but what you are feeling right now is just right, its a natural reaction because that means your love for him is real. But as cliche as it may sound, if you really love him you must love the person for what he is and what he is not. Love is not perfect. If you think you are not growing anymore as a person with his company then break up with him kahit na gano mo pa siya kamahal kung palagi ka namang nasasaktan. If he is willing to change for you and help you forget his past then you're lucky. More than that I think you guys need to be tested for health reasons, just to make sure you are safe. And dont make decisions when you're at peak of your emotion because most likely you'll regret it, its best to weight out things first. #LoveWins
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby mysticV » Fri May 19, 2017 6:23 pm

asiankiddo88 wrote:Hello everyone. Im sorry for posting this here. This may sound very shallow but it has affected me so much. Presently I have a BF who is ten years younger than me (Im 32, he's 22). We have known each other by name/face since we are both working in the same company. Few chats on messenger later, we became official. We vowed to be very careful since we were working on the same field. On our first day as couples, I told him more about myself. That he is my second BF ( and might be my first sexual experience with a guy since my Ex was born again christian). He told me that I am his second BF as well, but he already had sexual experience with his ex. AT first it was hard for me to comprehend the thought that my new partner is no longer "new to the business" but since I love him so much, i promised him that I will try not to think about his past. I also told him that I have trust issues on our very first day as couples. I wanted him to be honest and transparent. I vowed not to check his fone or social media accounts unless he will give me a reason to do so. He made a promise to cherish our relationship and to be honest at all times. Few days have past, I gave in. I gave myself to him..It was the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved. Our relationship grew stronger. We were both happy. Until one time, I became very curious on how he seems to be very "sanay" when it comes to love making. He would ask me to do things that I only see in porn movies. I became suspicious. He would at times noticed me having blank stares everytime my suspicion kicks in. I asked him again if he is being honest and faithful and he said yes. Until one day, i can no longer keep my anxiety. I asked the name of his ex and without hesitation, he gave it. I contacted him using fake account to fish for details about my partner now. The Ex told me that things did not turn out nicely between them. Until finally, i introduced myself to him, that I am his Ex's new BF. Without any bitterness or ill feeling, he told me more about the person we both loved. I was shocked...... The person I thought to be naive, soft spoken and discreet turned out to be a sex addict. He cheated thats why they broke up. I cried for 2 days. I fear for our relationship. Then I had the courage to confront him about his past. He said he had 4 other sexual experiences. I cried even more. I had second thoughts of continuing our relationship. He broke his promise and he lost my trust. But I love him so much that I was able to forgive and forget. Having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past, things became hard for me. Thoughts keep coming. Then one day, for the very last time, while kneeling, I asked him if he is being 100% honest. We were both crying. He asked me to be strong. Then he finally told the the truth. My BF had 32 other sexual experiences after his last relationship. From the people he met on Grinder app, to the group chats, to the sex meet ups, to the group sex he had. I was devastated. i can only say why????? bakit????? i was floored..=( Emotions started to set in.. Anger, disgust, pity, fear of getting a disease. I was not able to contain myself. I slapped him and ran away. Pain became anger. I threatened to ruined his reputation to his family. I said horrible things over the phone. He begged, and begged for mercy..I broke up with him and told him to prepare for the worst. That I will make his life a living hell. I asked for the passwords of all of his social media account. I confronted him over the phone with every person i saw on his accounts. The numbers grew that i lost count. Good thing i left his house before i saw those accounts or else i could have done something i would regret for the rest of my life. He was very scared of me. Our night ended up with me cursing him and saying the nastiest things one can imagine. The next day, I asked him to go to my house to see what he did to me. I planned of physically hurting him more. I asked him to return everything i gave him (shoes, clothes etc). He showed up to the house. When i saw him, he looked emotionally drained. Naawa ako sa bata.. instead of slapping him, i gave him the tightest hug. we both cried. I realized that I was not part of his past. That he never cheated on me during our relationship. He was not only honest in the beginning. Anger turned into pity. I can see his sincerity on his eyes. Awang awa talaga ako. I asked him why he did that. He said he was afraid of losing me if i learn about his past. I promised to pull him out from his addiction, to take good care of him until he settles for good. I wanted to continue our relationship but i cant stop myself from thinking about his dark past. The conversations, the pictures..and its preventing me from loving him completely. I really dont know what, how and where to start...Hinang hina na kami pareho kakaiyak. Need your honest advice....




Honestly, you need to grow up. Based on your profile here, you just turned 31 last April. You said you were 32, hmmmmmm.
Look after your thoughts especially when you're alone. For the moment, stop crying, choose to be happy :hx :hx
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby malou » Fri May 19, 2017 6:59 pm

He's just 22... he'll commit more mistakes,
his hormones will be toying around. Get ready to be hurt if you want to keep him. It's your choice. Been there dude!
I feel you.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby bcdf1930 » Sat May 20, 2017 5:45 am

YOU NEED TO BLAME YOURSELF...PAST IS PAST...IT IS YOU WHO KEPT DIGGING HIS PAST, WHEN YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE STARTED ON A CLEAN SLATE :)>-
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby Geriatric_Angel » Sun May 21, 2017 4:27 am

If you think you are doing him a favor by accepting him back again... think again... based on your account... you are the immature, selfish, untrusting, spoiled bitch!

Yes, your partner is sick, that's a given... and I don't think you can help him there alone... he needs more help from professionals than from you...besides, do you know what led him to where he is right now? Do you know his history why he is now a sex addict? I bet you don't...

It's only right to pity him because he really is in a pitiful state more than you... but the way you are acting... you are more pathetic than he.... you're supposed to be the older and mature one... but no... you are the exact opposite.

I pity you... but I pity your partner more.
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby ElsaHimala » Sun May 21, 2017 6:05 am

Malaki ba? pag yes stay. Pag mali etch good bye na =;)) =;)) =;)) =;))
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Re: NEED YOUR HONEST ADVICE

Postby ritzzy26 » Mon May 22, 2017 4:54 am

8-> 8-> 8-> 8-> 8->
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